Wednesday, September 13, 2006

It's all in the Mind....

23rd January 2006, Ravi Sharma and his wife Geeta are now married for 5 years. Their sprawling bungalow "Jannat" is filled with the clutter of high society people who have come to congratulate the couple for half a decade of togetherness. Champagne is flowing in abundance, wine and cheese have been specially ordered, each cocktail is made according to the guest's taste. Food stalls in the background boast of the finest and richest meals some of us have ever seen. The dholaks and the women singing in the background make the celebrations melodious.

Looking into Geeta's eyes, Ravi tries to find the lost innocence she possessed when they were married 5 years back. Their wedding was a very humble affair with not more than 50 people attending the rituals. The simple chiffon red saree and the long flowing hair of Geeta were complimented by her golden earings and a small necklace. All this coupled with a spark in her eyes was Ravi's most precious possession. Since then, he has never been able to find that simplicity in her. Although Geeta is dressed today in designer sarees, with diamond earings that pull her earlobes to the maximum, he has lost the Geeta that Ravi was married to.

Accepting congratulations with a heavy heart, he thinks - "what an irony it is to be congratulated on losing your most precious belonging!!" But such is life, he says trying to console himself. While he sees his wife exchanging flying kisses and fake wishes with the high profile people of Delhi, he sits in a corner and recollects back those days when he had "nothing but everything." Today he has "everything but nothing." He ridicules at the thought of how material pleasures exchange hands with immortal possessions. He curses that day when his wife and he decided to move from a small town Gorakhpur to a big city Delhi in fulfillment of their dreams. They had promised to hold the same respect for each other, but now why the sudden change? Is it because Ravi was not able to fulfill Geeta's materialistic desires and Geeta managed to outdo her husband that has caused the rift, or is it because Ravi is now jealous of his wife's achievements that he cannot talk to her looking in the eye? It is in the search of these answers that Ravi always drowns himself when his wife is busy looking after the ready-to-eat business empire built by her or when she is busy socialising with the who's who of the society.

He looks back at those days when he used to come back from office in the evening and take his wife with him for a kulfi when he had saved some extra money that month. Geeta being ambitious used to always ask her husband to help her start a small scale business where she could give tiffins to college students and help the house get some extra income. Reluctance on his side made Geeta start the business in his absence in the morning when Ravi was in the office. Her mess services became extremely popular and when Ravi got to know about it, it was too late for Geeta to give up. Soon she started selling packets of ready-to-eat foods in nearby kirana stores made by her with the help of 3 other women. This led to the construction of one of the most successful food products in Delhi and the neighbouring areas. Reluctance and lack of appreciation on Ravi's side made the drift widen. Geeta asked Ravi many times to give up his job and assist her with the growing business, but Ravi could never digest the fact that he would be working under his wife. Today Ravi still goes to his office where he earns a paltry sum, but the irony is that the lunch packets in his canteen are those made by Geeta's company!!!!

Ravi is woken up from his dreams when he is introduced to Geeta's special clients Mr and Mrs Jaiswal.
Mr Rakesh Jaiswal is well known for his "go-getter" attitude and one of the most successful examples of who an opportunist is. Probably, that is the reason that his wife Neerja Jaiswal is 25 years younger to him. Neerja, one of the most successful models in Delhi was known to have the attitude of making it big in her life at an early age irrespective of what price she would have to pay. She wanted social status, financial security for a life time and freedom from her husband so she could do all that she wanted. People ridiculed her by saying that it is impossible to get all this. But she proved them wrong when she married Mr Jaiswal, a business tycoon and a hotelier. It's been three and a half years when she married him. Then Mr. Jaiswal was
53 and Neerja just 28. Mr. Jaiswal divorced his wife Naina of 27 years for Neerja. So is the magic of beauty!!

Ravi was surprised looking at the odd couple, but he thought anything is possible for a man who has money that is not counted but weighed instead! But something about Neerja attracted him, not her beauty but probably a spark in her eye that made him feel that there is some connection between the two. Probably even Neerja must have felt the same and the two hit off well and were seen conversing for a long time. Ravi even made a drink for Neerja and made sure that she felt at home with him. Neerja too was having a good time. The two of them exchanged numbers and when Neerja left the party, Ravi thought that after a long time he had spoken his heart out with a charming lady.

Weeks passed by and Geeta as usual was busy in her routine. Ravi too followed his mundane activities of going to the office and then back. Neerja's eyes had taken a backseat, just a backseat, but were not wiped off from his memories. One fine Sunday when Ravi was taking an afternoon nap, his sleep was broken by the harsh sound of his phone. It was Neerja on the other end. She asked Ravi if he could meet her for a cup of coffee in the evening. Since Geeta was not in town, he thought what better way to spend a boring Sunday evening. The two met up at Cafe Coffee Day in the upmarket locale of Greater Kailash. The camaraderie was blossoming and the two had a great evening. They felt that they understood each other better and deicided to do this quite often.

Weekends were thus spent over endless cups of coffees, then dinners and desserts. The two spoke to each other on any topic. They felt a sense of similarity with their lives and their demands. Many times Neerja confessed to Ravi that she married Rakesh for financial security but she lost out on emotional security. She felt like an accessory that adores Mr Jaiswal's shoulders for his high profile parties. That was just her status in his life. She was feeling emotionally insecure as there was no one to understand her and she now repented her decision. Ravi too was looking for that emotional security in his life. So now they were too individuals who fulfilled each other's emotional needs by discussing every issue close to their hearts and they felt that their relationship had matured into something more beautiful than friendship.

Weekends were now spent over endless cups of coffees, dinners, desserts and beautiful nights in hotel rooms. Within 2 months of their first meeting, they were already in love! aBusy as their respective spouses were, they were completely oblivious to the latest developments. But this were the most beautiful moments in Ravi and Neerja's lives. It was blissful to share physical oneness with the person who gives you a feeling of emotional security. They felt that marriage is not the only way to be emotionally stable but one can experience that even outside marriage. It's all in the mind. After all what is marriage, just an official permit to have sex, but relationships are much more than that, and all marriages do not guarantee that. Here were two rebellious individuals whose thoughts were completely contradictory to what they were a few months ago. One married to remain blissfully happy all his life and the other married for social and financial status. So this is what love can do, can change your thoughts and that is why it is said - "It is all in the mind!". It's just that what perspective you use to view any situation.

Their weekend routine remained colorful as before until few months later, Neerja learnt she was pregnant with Ravi's child. The joy of being new parents engulfed Neerja and Ravi to the extent that they no longer bothered about how their respective spouses would react on knowing about Ravi and Neerja. After all each of them was being a parent for the first time. But somehow the courage had to be gathered, it had to be gathered to face their spouses and tell them they wanted freedom from them.

The next day, Ravi and Neerja finally decided to let their hearts out. That morning, Geeta as usual was busy in the kitchen supervising the breakfast menu. Ravi held Geeta’s hand, walked with her to the dining table, pulled a chair for her and sat beside her. Geeta felt that something was wrong. He kept looking at the empty plate. She kept looking at Ravi waiting to hear the dreaded news. There was silence. Silence that was horrifying. Silence that was certainly not golden. Silence. Finally Ravi looked at Geeta and said “I am sorry. This is really hard, but you must know.” Geeta was listening. Listening. “When I married you, I thought, here is the lady I shall love forever. I promised to be with you till my last breath. But, things change, situations change, priorities change, PEOPLE change…PEOPLE in OUR LIVES change….”. There was silence once again. A silence that deafened Geeta. Geeta understood what Ravi was trying to convey. She just whispered in a trembling voice : “Who is she?”

“Neerja”

“…Jaiswal?”

“Yes….It all happened so….”

“I dint ask for any explanations. I don’t even want to ask. But tomorrow when our child asks for an explanation….”

“Our child?”

“Yes, I am 3 months pregnant with your child…”

“What…you never told me…”

“Yeah….didn’t…was about to tell you but work….”

“Work, Work, Work…look at what your work has done…”

“My work?? How can you be so insensitive….?”

There was silence once again. A silence that deafened Ravi.

Geeta broke the silence saying “You may leave with Neerja if you want. I can raise our child….MY child….”

Geeta’s was interrupted when Ravi’s cell rang. He picked up the phone. It was Neerja on the other end. She sounded excited “Hey Ravi, Mr. Jaiswal has been unaffected by the news. He told me that I may do what I want. You hear that….I hope things are fine at your end…”

“No things are not fine….”

“I guess we’ll have to think about our decision once again. I love you but I’ve loved her and she loves me. Give me some more time….”

Neerja disconnected the phone.

Geeta went to work. The decision had to be Ravi’s. He sat on the swing overlooking their garden. All through the day he was lost in his thoughts. It is difficult to make a decision. He realized for the first time that making decisions would be so difficult……”

He finally made a decision. He picked up the phone and called Neerja. He wanted to tell her what his final decision was. Some strange voice answered the phone. When asked about Neerja, the voice said “Neerja memsaab has gifted her mobile to me and said she is going forever for good.”

Ravi understood the reason. She didn’t want him to go through the pain of making a decision. She wanted it all to be in his mind…..