Killing Time....

(This poem has been written at an extremely boring conference, where I was finding means to do some time-pass, so chances are that it might be boring <:P> but still, enjoy the rhyme scheme!!)

It's easy to kill a dog,
It's easy to kill a man in fog,
It's easy to kill a fruit without a dime,
But what's not easy is to kill time.

Take the dog and buthcher his head,
In an instant the dog will be dead,
Killing a dog is not at all a crime,
But can someone tell me - how to kill time??

Take a knife and slash a men's neck,
Throw his dead body in a crowded deck,
Killing him will surely be a crime,
But I would prefer killing time.

Go to the shrub and pluck a sweet lime,
Devour the fruit at no extra dime,
That my friend is certainly no crime,
But what the hell, HOW DO I KILL TIME ??!!??

It's all in the Mind....

23rd January 2006, Ravi Sharma and his wife Geeta are now married for 5 years. Their sprawling bungalow "Jannat" is filled with the clutter of high society people who have come to congratulate the couple for half a decade of togetherness. Champagne is flowing in abundance, wine and cheese have been specially ordered, each cocktail is made according to the guest's taste. Food stalls in the background boast of the finest and richest meals some of us have ever seen. The dholaks and the women singing in the background make the celebrations melodious.

Looking into Geeta's eyes, Ravi tries to find the lost innocence she possessed when they were married 5 years back. Their wedding was a very humble affair with not more than 50 people attending the rituals. The simple chiffon red saree and the long flowing hair of Geeta were complimented by her golden earings and a small necklace. All this coupled with a spark in her eyes was Ravi's most precious possession. Since then, he has never been able to find that simplicity in her. Although Geeta is dressed today in designer sarees, with diamond earings that pull her earlobes to the maximum, he has lost the Geeta that Ravi was married to.

Accepting congratulations with a heavy heart, he thinks - "what an irony it is to be congratulated on losing your most precious belonging!!" But such is life, he says trying to console himself. While he sees his wife exchanging flying kisses and fake wishes with the high profile people of Delhi, he sits in a corner and recollects back those days when he had "nothing but everything." Today he has "everything but nothing." He ridicules at the thought of how material pleasures exchange hands with immortal possessions. He curses that day when his wife and he decided to move from a small town Gorakhpur to a big city Delhi in fulfillment of their dreams. They had promised to hold the same respect for each other, but now why the sudden change? Is it because Ravi was not able to fulfill Geeta's materialistic desires and Geeta managed to outdo her husband that has caused the rift, or is it because Ravi is now jealous of his wife's achievements that he cannot talk to her looking in the eye? It is in the search of these answers that Ravi always drowns himself when his wife is busy looking after the ready-to-eat business empire built by her or when she is busy socialising with the who's who of the society.

He looks back at those days when he used to come back from office in the evening and take his wife with him for a kulfi when he had saved some extra money that month. Geeta being ambitious used to always ask her husband to help her start a small scale business where she could give tiffins to college students and help the house get some extra income. Reluctance on his side made Geeta start the business in his absence in the morning when Ravi was in the office. Her mess services became extremely popular and when Ravi got to know about it, it was too late for Geeta to give up. Soon she started selling packets of ready-to-eat foods in nearby kirana stores made by her with the help of 3 other women. This led to the construction of one of the most successful food products in Delhi and the neighbouring areas. Reluctance and lack of appreciation on Ravi's side made the drift widen. Geeta asked Ravi many times to give up his job and assist her with the growing business, but Ravi could never digest the fact that he would be working under his wife. Today Ravi still goes to his office where he earns a paltry sum, but the irony is that the lunch packets in his canteen are those made by Geeta's company!!!!

Ravi is woken up from his dreams when he is introduced to Geeta's special clients Mr and Mrs Jaiswal.
Mr Rakesh Jaiswal is well known for his "go-getter" attitude and one of the most successful examples of who an opportunist is. Probably, that is the reason that his wife Neerja Jaiswal is 25 years younger to him. Neerja, one of the most successful models in Delhi was known to have the attitude of making it big in her life at an early age irrespective of what price she would have to pay. She wanted social status, financial security for a life time and freedom from her husband so she could do all that she wanted. People ridiculed her by saying that it is impossible to get all this. But she proved them wrong when she married Mr Jaiswal, a business tycoon and a hotelier. It's been three and a half years when she married him. Then Mr. Jaiswal was
53 and Neerja just 28. Mr. Jaiswal divorced his wife Naina of 27 years for Neerja. So is the magic of beauty!!

Ravi was surprised looking at the odd couple, but he thought anything is possible for a man who has money that is not counted but weighed instead! But something about Neerja attracted him, not her beauty but probably a spark in her eye that made him feel that there is some connection between the two. Probably even Neerja must have felt the same and the two hit off well and were seen conversing for a long time. Ravi even made a drink for Neerja and made sure that she felt at home with him. Neerja too was having a good time. The two of them exchanged numbers and when Neerja left the party, Ravi thought that after a long time he had spoken his heart out with a charming lady.

Weeks passed by and Geeta as usual was busy in her routine. Ravi too followed his mundane activities of going to the office and then back. Neerja's eyes had taken a backseat, just a backseat, but were not wiped off from his memories. One fine Sunday when Ravi was taking an afternoon nap, his sleep was broken by the harsh sound of his phone. It was Neerja on the other end. She asked Ravi if he could meet her for a cup of coffee in the evening. Since Geeta was not in town, he thought what better way to spend a boring Sunday evening. The two met up at Cafe Coffee Day in the upmarket locale of Greater Kailash. The camaraderie was blossoming and the two had a great evening. They felt that they understood each other better and deicided to do this quite often.

Weekends were thus spent over endless cups of coffees, then dinners and desserts. The two spoke to each other on any topic. They felt a sense of similarity with their lives and their demands. Many times Neerja confessed to Ravi that she married Rakesh for financial security but she lost out on emotional security. She felt like an accessory that adores Mr Jaiswal's shoulders for his high profile parties. That was just her status in his life. She was feeling emotionally insecure as there was no one to understand her and she now repented her decision. Ravi too was looking for that emotional security in his life. So now they were too individuals who fulfilled each other's emotional needs by discussing every issue close to their hearts and they felt that their relationship had matured into something more beautiful than friendship.

Weekends were now spent over endless cups of coffees, dinners, desserts and beautiful nights in hotel rooms. Within 2 months of their first meeting, they were already in love! aBusy as their respective spouses were, they were completely oblivious to the latest developments. But this were the most beautiful moments in Ravi and Neerja's lives. It was blissful to share physical oneness with the person who gives you a feeling of emotional security. They felt that marriage is not the only way to be emotionally stable but one can experience that even outside marriage. It's all in the mind. After all what is marriage, just an official permit to have sex, but relationships are much more than that, and all marriages do not guarantee that. Here were two rebellious individuals whose thoughts were completely contradictory to what they were a few months ago. One married to remain blissfully happy all his life and the other married for social and financial status. So this is what love can do, can change your thoughts and that is why it is said - "It is all in the mind!". It's just that what perspective you use to view any situation.

Their weekend routine remained colorful as before until few months later, Neerja learnt she was pregnant with Ravi's child. The joy of being new parents engulfed Neerja and Ravi to the extent that they no longer bothered about how their respective spouses would react on knowing about Ravi and Neerja. After all each of them was being a parent for the first time. But somehow the courage had to be gathered, it had to be gathered to face their spouses and tell them they wanted freedom from them.

The next day, Ravi and Neerja finally decided to let their hearts out. That morning, Geeta as usual was busy in the kitchen supervising the breakfast menu. Ravi held Geeta’s hand, walked with her to the dining table, pulled a chair for her and sat beside her. Geeta felt that something was wrong. He kept looking at the empty plate. She kept looking at Ravi waiting to hear the dreaded news. There was silence. Silence that was horrifying. Silence that was certainly not golden. Silence. Finally Ravi looked at Geeta and said “I am sorry. This is really hard, but you must know.” Geeta was listening. Listening. “When I married you, I thought, here is the lady I shall love forever. I promised to be with you till my last breath. But, things change, situations change, priorities change, PEOPLE change…PEOPLE in OUR LIVES change….”. There was silence once again. A silence that deafened Geeta. Geeta understood what Ravi was trying to convey. She just whispered in a trembling voice : “Who is she?”

“Neerja”

“…Jaiswal?”

“Yes….It all happened so….”

“I dint ask for any explanations. I don’t even want to ask. But tomorrow when our child asks for an explanation….”

“Our child?”

“Yes, I am 3 months pregnant with your child…”

“What…you never told me…”

“Yeah….didn’t…was about to tell you but work….”

“Work, Work, Work…look at what your work has done…”

“My work?? How can you be so insensitive….?”

There was silence once again. A silence that deafened Ravi.

Geeta broke the silence saying “You may leave with Neerja if you want. I can raise our child….MY child….”

Geeta’s was interrupted when Ravi’s cell rang. He picked up the phone. It was Neerja on the other end. She sounded excited “Hey Ravi, Mr. Jaiswal has been unaffected by the news. He told me that I may do what I want. You hear that….I hope things are fine at your end…”

“No things are not fine….”

“I guess we’ll have to think about our decision once again. I love you but I’ve loved her and she loves me. Give me some more time….”

Neerja disconnected the phone.

Geeta went to work. The decision had to be Ravi’s. He sat on the swing overlooking their garden. All through the day he was lost in his thoughts. It is difficult to make a decision. He realized for the first time that making decisions would be so difficult……”

He finally made a decision. He picked up the phone and called Neerja. He wanted to tell her what his final decision was. Some strange voice answered the phone. When asked about Neerja, the voice said “Neerja memsaab has gifted her mobile to me and said she is going forever for good.”

Ravi understood the reason. She didn’t want him to go through the pain of making a decision. She wanted it all to be in his mind…..

Gone are the Days...

(an e-mail forward...)

Gone are the days...
When school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches!
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes!

When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays,
Yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!
When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!

When we started calculating first with tables and then with
Clarke's tables and advanced to Calculators and computers!
When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,
and returned to the classrooms Drenched in sweat!

When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors, Playgrounds,
under the trees and even in cycle sheds!
When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!

When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!
When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!
When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played "book cricket"
in the Confines of classroom!

Of fights but no conspiracies, of Competitions but seldom jealousy!
When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!
When few rushed at 3:45
to "Conquer" window seats in our School bus!
While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint",
"kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!

Gone are the days Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long preparations for them.

Gone are the days Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams,
And the most enjoyed holidays after them!

Gone are the days of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!
We learnt, We enjoyed, We played, We won, We lost, We laughed,
We cried, We fought, We thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more!


Gone are the days ..
When we used to talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don't have time to say a 'Hi'!
Gone are the days When we played games on the road!
Now we Code on the road with laptop!

Gone are the days when we saw stars Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn't Work!
Gone are the days
when we even troubled the girls/boys on the street!
now we do have girls/boys around us but
still dont find time to talk to them

Gone are the days When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms.....!
Gone are the days Where we studied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days Where we had no money in our pockets
and still fun filled in our hearts!!
Now we have the atm as well as credit card
but with an empty heart!!

Gone are the days Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don't shout even at home
Gone are the days Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....!!

Gone are the days But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and ever .....
Gone are the Days....
But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!

Have you seen 'Rang De Basanti' - Honourable HRD Minister?

Our HRD Minister Mr. Arjun Singh seems to be making decisions under the influence of settling personal issues rather than considering the benefit of the entire nation. Earlier this year when IIM Bangalore suggested a proposal to set up a campus in Singapore, Mr. Singh strongly opposed it by asking them to serve the nation first and then go international. However he failed to do that, so probably to give a vent to his fuming ego, he brought in the reservation issue asking them to increase the seats by 54%. Since the IIMs and other central institutes are bound to the government, they will have to follow his directions. The move by Mr. Singh is applaudable. His so called backward friends have found a seat in the premier instutions and the IIMs have now to pay a price for their victory.
But Mr. Minister, it is high time you realise that for India to be on the global map, leave the institutions to take their own decisions. Inspite of so much government interference, it is surprising that none of the IIMs feature in the top 100 B-schools of the world. Give them complete autonomy, let them go global, leave the admission criteria to them and within a matter of a few years, many institutions will compete with their global counterparts.
Giving the so called backward class everything on a platter right from higher education to jobs in the industry under the pretext of them having suffered the most after 58 years of independence degrades the competition levels within the country. Many MBA aspirants like me will never dream of studying in this country which is meant for 'your downtrodden friends'.
There has to be some shame left in you Mr. Minister for rejecting the pleas of so many doctors who are suffering in the scorching heat and facing the police lathis and cannons. Just assuring them that general category seats will remain the same doesn't solve the problem. Give us an answer about what would you do to maintain the competion levels. Do you think people who walk in with reservations are equally competent with those from general category? Definitely not. Citing this example - I have known an SC/ST student walk in with ease into IIM Lucknow with a meagre 72 percentile whereas general category students with 99.5 percentile also do not make it. So what kind of competition can we expect from these students. Barring a few students, the rest of the reserved students are complacent as they know that the politicians of 'their' country will never let them down. So life for them is a different ball game altogether. Doesn't that lower down the prestige of our institutions? But why should you be bothered? You just want the votes and settle personal issues.
After all this that you are doing for them let me ask you one question Mr. Minister - tomorrow when you have to go through a crucial operation that would decide the fate of your life, would you allow a reserved category student who has walked into AIIMS easily without the necessary marks to operate on you or would you want to be operated by a student who has slogged to get into the instituition and has maintained its standards? I wont be surprised if your answer is no. But IF your answer is YES, then I surely believe that what you are doing is perfectly correct and my lost respect for you will find its place once again.
At this age, the amount of hatred that you are amassing from the young students prompts me to ask you one last question - 'Have you seen Rang De Basanti??'. If yes, then I hope what happenned in the movie to the Defence Minister, doesn't happen to you.

I will be there for you . . .

When you were eight and I was nine,
When the days of childhood were just going fine,
What fascinated me were your expressions so true,
That was the time when I decided to be with you.

I climbed the mountains with you,
I swam the oceans with you,
Whatever you wanna do, you do,
But I'll be there for you.

When I walked down the altar with you,
And exchanged my first kiss with you,
What stole my heart were your expressions so true,
It was then that I promised - "I'll be there for you."

When we slept under the skies so blue,
And walked on the grass wet with the morning dew,
I didn't even realise te closer we drew,
But for everything, I'd been there for you.

Days, months, seasons, years, just flew,
Now is the time to bid my mortal possessions adieu,
But what remains immortal for me are your expressions so true,
'Cos I'd been there and will always be there for you.

When Hell Broke Loose. . .

I saw you at a secluded place,
Boasting your gifted dignity and grace,
Stood at the background of the golden sunrise,
Oh! How I drowned into your eyes.

Your hair unruffled, curled and blonde,
Every moment made me more and more fond,
Seeing your femininity, I was taken by surprise,
Oh! How I drowned into your eyes.

As you approached me step by step,
I waited there with bated breath,
You carried the oomph complimented by your size,
Oh! How I drowned into your eyes.

The closer to me you drew,
Stood behind me the forest crew,
They feared that you would devour me,
With your naked body looking at me.

A voice within me said - "Why were you a lioness oh damsel?"
Even after being woken up by the alarm, I couldn't tell!

Happy Being the only Child? Think Again...

Being the only child sans any siblings always had its advantages and disadvantages. Advantages, of course, were
that there was no need to share any damn thing on this earth that someone gives you. Everything was just mine.
There was no need to impress and flatter parents or elders for that matter to be their favourite, unlike in school where one
has to try to flatter the teacher to be her "pet".

But today when I look back, I think that the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. The selfish and self-centered
individual is delighted at the thought of not having to share anything, but I am someone far from that. There were so
many moments where I missed the company of an elder brother. I used to be really jealous of my friends who had
elder brothers who used to dote on them. I could never experience the pleasure of growing up with an elder brother
who makes the kid brother more mature than his age. I never got the opportunity of hanging around and partying with
friends of elder bros. Apart from that, the shell that an elder brother builds around his kid bro, who means the world to
him, was always missing in my case. During my growing up days, I was baffled with a lot of problems which I thought meant the world to me. But today they seem highly trivial to me. I desperately needed someone with whom I could talk to and find a solution to them. Friends of course were the only choice for me, but your aged people could never give a good solution. The solutions I got were highly immature and today when I think of them, I am broken into bouts of laughter!!! I needed someone who was elder to me and
who had gone through a similar phase earlier. Parents, for sure, could never be approached. Situations like these make you
feel the void in your life, which can be filled only with the presence of an elder sibling.

Elder sisters are definitely more organised and they demand more discipline from the brother. They play the role of
your mother in her absence. I always thought sharing a room with an elder sister would be a nightmare, what with she always
wanting the room to be spotless, no pencil shavings on the ground, the bedsheet should be tightly pulled when you get up
from the bed, the toilet seat should not be left up after using it, the mirror should not have dried water spots on it, the soft
board should be covered with dainty feminine stuff,....phew!!! But I think an elder sister gives you a peek into the psyche
of a girl whom you might like. Knowing what girls like, always makes you more approachable, more likeable and more
popular among the fairer sex. Belonging to a boy's school, I learnt this things quite late in life, but I did learn them successfully!!
Though sisters threaten to complain at every move of yours, they do conceal you from those dreaded beatings. But the pain
when she leaves you after marrying, again leaves that void which is quite deep. You then always long for those nagging
comments from your sister which were the reasons for major quarrels. Inside your heart you know, that will never happen
for the rest of your life.

But I must say I have been successful in building an amazing support system around myself with my cousins to whom I am no
less dearer than their own siblings and friends who have been more than brothers to me. But still the feeling of having someone
with you 24/7 while growing up was never destined to be a part of my memories....

The Wait Continues...

She waits near the telephone for it to ring,
On hearing his voice she'll have a reason to sing,
It's been months since she's got any news,
Till then the lonesome wait continues...

A teardrop rolls down her soggy eye,
As she remembers his days of childhood gone by,
He learnt to walk holding her turmeric stained fingers,
The sound of him giggling in her ears still lingers.

She remembers the mischievous smile on his face,
Which helped him exit every crime with grace,
Oh what a prankster was he,
But today where is he?

There is he on the borders protecting the nation,
He forgets there is someone waiting for him on the station,
She pictures him making his way through all the guns,
She thinks are there wars for us to lose our sons?

Her thoughts are broken by the telephone sound,
Anxiety to hear his voice makes her heart pound,
But Alas it was not he, whom she wanted to hear,
She sighs, "when will you call up oh dear?"
It's been months since she's got any news,
Till then the lonesome wait continues...

My first blog ever . . .

Writing the first blog makes me feel more excited than the time I wrote my first exam ever. Generally on a first meeting, people like to introduce themselves, but I feel introducing oneself on a blog is highly LS. So the readers of this blog are skipped from my detailed introduction which is highly interesting!!!

My friend Milan writes amazing blogs and he told me that writing blogs today is one of the most convinient ways of sharing information. When I started reading blogs of people, I started getting a peek into their lives, emotions, dreams, aspirations and so many hidden aspects of their sometimes turbulent sometimes smooth lives. So then I thought why not write a blog of my own and make my self more "likeable" to people who dont know me!!!

This place is going to give me a huge space to unleash my creativity, so all those people who haven't experienced creativity for a long time now, I think you are reading the right space. I have this habit of writing melodramatic and soul stirring poems, which you guys will enjoy reading surely!!!

I thought it is quite difficult writing a good blog, but I think the moment you start typing the words that you wanted to say to a friend, ideas keep running in and the space starts filling up. But I must say I have read some amazing blogs on blogspot and I think, we bloggers must really be grateful to blogspot for giving us our own space to express our feelings and experiences.

With this I think I have succesfully written my first blog ever and I expect like minded people to patronise it by reading it and posting comments that would help me improve.